We all know they’re terribly ugly.  Your grandma probably has them.  Big blue veins bulging on the legs, it’s horrible to even think about.  How to avoid this fate?

First I direct your attention to flamingos.  These amazing birds are in fact naturally white (or to be accurate, colourless).  The only reason they are pink is because they eat so much shrimp that the pigment gets into the bloodstream and dyes the feathers.

Next, recall the media frenzy surrounding Sunny Delight  in 1999 when some stupid Welsh parent fed their toddler so much that she turned bright orange.

Continuing in this vein (if you’ll excuse the pun) certain blue cheeses are threaded with copper wires to introduce bacteria which make flavoursome mould.  It is possible for these bacteria to build up in the blood and cause swelling and discolouration.  If this occurs in the legs, it will result in varicose veins.

To maintain healthy-looking legs into old age, make sure you avoid blue-veined cheeses such as stilton, gorgonzola and dolcelatte.