Monthly Archives: March 2010

What sports are whales good at?


Well, we know that sperm whales are bad at parachuting.  A pot of petunias is not an appropriate failsafe by any means.  But although extreme sports may not be their forté, whales have exceptional talent when it comes to scavenger hunts.  When you see a pod of whales, all swimming and jumping together, calling out and singing, you know what that means… New hunt list.
“Right, guys, where are we going to find a blue sea urchin?  I’ll take the Channel, you check out the Irish Sea.  We’ll meet in the Mediterranean for the scuba goggles next.”
The sonar sure does come in handy.
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Posted by on March 18, 2010 in Silly, What?


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Why do people like ‘Jordan’ (Katie Price)?

Because Jordan’s breasts have such dense gravitational forces of their own, people who spend too much time watching her end up developing black holes within their skulls. All brain cells are then pulled in, crushed and destroyed at the singularity.

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Posted by on March 14, 2010 in Silly, Why?


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If frogs could talk, how would this affect the economic situation we are currently in?

If frogs could talk, they would be far more concerned with revenge against French chefs than the economy. That said, the arms race and resulting war would probably provide a sweet economic boom.

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Posted by on March 14, 2010 in How?, Silly


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How can I shaft O2 and get them to give me a better deal on the iPhone?

You will need:
An inferior touchscreen phone,
Some tinfoil and polystyrene,
A soldering iron,
An empty iPhone box and
Imitation O2 contract paperwork.
Jimmy the phone until it looks like an iPhone.  Download a photo of the iPhone home screen and use this as the background wallpaper.  March into the O2 store and make it very clear from your manner that you are rich and irritated.  Complain that this is the seventh time your iPhone has needed repair and you are very unhappy with the quality!  Tell them that you considered litigation for breach of contract since they have failed to provide you with the suitable working equipment you paid for.  However, you are prepared to resolve the situation calmly if they will simply sell you a second contract on the newer iPhone 3GS at a cheaper rate.
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Posted by on March 14, 2010 in How?


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Why do white crayons exist?

Crayola did try to remove the white crayons from their range, realising that they mostly ended up wasted (or eaten by the stupid kids). However, Crayola were then sued for racism and had to reinstate them.

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Posted by on March 14, 2010 in Why?


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