Advertisements
RSS

Monthly Archives: March 2010

Why is it that every day when you sensibly open your yoghurt with it facing away from you it opens fine and doesn’t make a mess, but on the very rare occasions that you forget and absent-mindedly open it facing you, you are 100% GUARANTEED that it will spurt all over you and make a mess?

No spoon necessary.

It’s true.  It’s sod’s law, and it happens to all of us.
Except it isn’t just sod’s law.  The fact that it happens EVERY DAMN TIME is proof in itself that there are greater forces at work here. Read the rest of this entry »
Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 26, 2010 in Why?

 

Why does Diet Coke have the same effect on me as alcohol?

#Holidays are coming... Holidays are coming...#

It is true that Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.  The name was originally descriptive of the ingredients; coca leaves and kola nuts.  Obviously this was stopped completely in 1929, so drugs are not the cause of your behaviour when drinking the stuff.
Diet Coke is different from the standard because it contains less sugar.  They replace the natural sugars with Read the rest of this entry »
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 26, 2010 in Why?

 

Why do I sometimes see psychedelic patterns swirling about under my eyelids?

Oh hey, there's a broken down car up the road.  I wonder what's up.

If you’re certain it isn’t an acid trip?
I’m going to guess that the colouring in these swirls looks very similar to the kind you get on the road when there has been a leaky car or a petrol spill.
The swirls you see are excess oils on the surface of the eye.  The liquid over your iris isn’t entirely water, if it was it would just all evaporate.  There are oil glands in your eyelids which swirl oils over the surface to keep everything well lubricated.  (If one of these glands gets blocked it causes all kinds of ugly nonsense, but that’s quite another story.)
Although the eye itself can’t produce enough of these oils to give a visible effect, the uncombusted petrol fumes in exhausts of big messy cars like Land Rovers can pollute the atmosphere and settle on the eye.  Especially if you walk along busy roads a lot.
You might imagine that eyelids are blackout curtains for your eyes, but they actually let quite a lot of light in.  Just try looking into a torch with your eyes closed – or rather, don’t.  It’s not that fun.  It’s the light coming through your eyelid at a certain angle that allows you to see these psychedelic patterns swirling around.
Either that or you’ve been listening to too much Portishead.
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 26, 2010 in Why?

 

My cat is obsessed with boxes and carrier bags. Why?!

You are not alone in this.  It is natural cat behaviour to be nosey at, peruse, sit in, tail chase, or rub noses with any box, bag or other receptacle left within paw reach.

They do this because even the most seemingly sensible and intelligent cat will think there’s something to chase.  In a big cardboard box they will poke at the corners or chase their tail.  In a smaller bag they will sit and await the return of the beastie that lives there.  It’s an unshakeable conviction that somewhere in the vicinity of this bag is prey.  And the root of this conviction?  Hallucinogenics.

Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 22, 2010 in Why?

 

Tags: , , , ,

Why are wisdom teeth called wisdom teeth?

Wisdom teeth are the only human teeth to develop entirely after birth.  They simply aren’t there when you’re a child, and next thing you know, BAM!  You’ve got toothache. Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 22, 2010 in Why?

 

Tags: , , ,

Now that it’s possible to have a sex change, how will I be able to change into a duck?

I think the real question here is; are you prepared to spend the rest of your life eating nothing but watercress, bread, and the odd insect?
If you decide that the life of a duck is for you, it’s a long and painful journey to complete your transformation.
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 22, 2010 in How?

 

Tags: , , , ,

Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?

There is!  A very small firm in America sells this delicacy.  However, it comes at a high price.

An attempt was made by Whiskas to breed mice specifically for cat food, much like they are bred for snake consumption.  Their product line failed to take off, however, because cats wouldn’t eat the stuff.  Have you noticed that whenever a cat hunts a mouse, it hardly ever eats much of the kill?  It will bring the body to you for inspection and approval, but nine times out of ten you’ll be left with a small, furry corpse. Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 21, 2010 in Why?

 

Tags: , , , ,